When it’s OK to just be OK

by MaryBeth

Hello again! The holiday season is already upon us, and I’m officially 5+ months through my first year of medical school. I finally feel as though I’ve hit a sort of “stride” with balancing school and home, which might be a bit later than I’d planned, but still feels like a major accomplishment. Everything will change again as of this summer, when I hit my first clinical rotations. So for now I’m going to appreciate the feelings of stability I’m experiencing.

As I suggested in my previous post, the start of medical school as a mom with three children under five was bumpy. I have continued to deal with anxiety on a weekly basis, but I’ve learned to accept it and better manage it (through lots of trial and error).

One of the biggest things that I’ve learned in the past 5 months is how critically important it is to prioritize one’s workload. Knowing that I won’t be able to study everything covered on each exam has actually become liberating, as opposed to stress-inducing. I choose to spend my quality study time on the highest-yield strategies for me, as opposed to trying to do a bit of everything and “cover all the bases.” Sure, this might mean a gap of a few points on the next exam, but since my school is Pass/Fail for the first year, it seems like a small price to pay for the time I’m able to spend playing memory games and putting my kiddos to bed at night.

I’m not accustomed to doing an OK job at school. (If you’re a pre-med, med student, or otherwise type A student, I’m sure you understand where I’m coming from.) But as I’ve gained more experience with the realities of school and family life, I’ve become more comfortable with just being OK. I’m learning most of what I need to learn in school and I’m doing the most important things that I need to do as a mom of three preschoolers. I can’t really expect much more of myself at this point, so that is pretty satisfying.

With my youngest after the white coat ceremony

The End and The Beginning

by MaryBeth

Last week marked one of the biggest milestones in my life: I began medical school. But as I referenced in previous posts, this was not the only big change my family went through in the last month. My youngest of three just turned ONE and her sassy big sister turned three (see adorable birthday balloon above). With my baby daughter starting daycare for the first time after a year at home, I felt an unusual amount of anxiety leading up to this major transition. So much so that, over the last two months, I believe I’ve even experienced a few episodes that could be categorized as panic attacks. Turns out, just because you don’t realize how nervous and anxious you are on a conscious level, doesn’t mean you can avoid a physical reckoning! It’s definitely too early for me to self-diagnose with any degree of certainty, but let’s just say that identifying the issue and working to address it has already improved my daily life.

Speaking of…. my daily life now involves studying hard and working with some awesome peers at Dell Medical School in Austin, Texas. Our workload at the moment is incredibly diverse, which helps keep things interesting. Prep for a typical class day might involve reading a study on social determinants of health, watching a video comparing the costs and risks of different radiological tests, or exploring a relevant clinical case with a team of other students. We are definitely not lacking for material!

I’ll share more about Dell Med’s novel curriculum in a future post. For now, I’d like to impart a few things I learned about self-care during orientation and in my first two weeks of med school. These are things you may already know, but maybe reading about it again will help you make a small change that you wouldn’t have made otherwise!

My current strategies for coping with med school and family stress:

1. Take time for meditation/reflection – I finally subscribed to an app called Headspace (you can check out a free pack of 10 meditations just by registering) and have been pretty good about meditating at school or at home to give myself a much-needed mental break.
2. Bring plenty of healthy (and tasty!) food – I planned out a weekly grocery list and meal plan, including hearty snacks, so that I always have the best kind of fuel available at school or home.
3. Find mundane activities that offer complete satisfaction – if there’s one thing I’m already learning about med school, it’s that you’ll never be able to do/learn EVERYTHING for every class. So it’s helpful to use your off time for tasks that are guaranteed to bring you that slice of satisfaction that you might not get at the end of your study session. Example: this morning I vacuumed and straightened my house so that I could come home and enjoy a clean space. Baths with your favorite music playing are another great option 🙂
4. Smile. You know how they say that if you smile more, you actually start to feel happier? Well, in my first two weeks at school, I’ve found myself smiling at my new classmates and friends A LOT. And without realizing it at first, I think all of that smiling has generally kept my spirits up even through some stress and anxiety. As we all get more familiar, it’s likely that the smiling will gradually decrease, but it certainly won’t hurt to try and keep it up.

Best of luck to everyone who is applying this cycle! I’ll try and post again soon with more updates on how school is going.

With three kiddos under 5, it’s nearly impossible to get a pic where everyone cooperates!!

 

Apply to Med School Like a Boss

USING YOUR MOM SKILLS TO CRUSH APPLICATION SEASON

by MaryBeth

Ever sit in class and wonder, how can these kids complain about not having time to study? I’ve got babies to feed, clothe, and put to bed. I haven’t eaten, I’ve got tons of housework to do…the list goes on and on. This, my friends, is how you succeed in the application cycle.

As a parent, you’ve already learned some of the most critical life lessons you’ll need to succeed in medical school and beyond. Your task during application/interview season is to intelligently articulate what you’ve learned and convince the committees that you belong in their next class of future docs. You need to highlight your already-honed ability to manage numerous tasks at once, your patience with difficult personalities, and your understanding of the immense responsibility involved in caring for others.

Here are some of the concepts I highlighted in my personal statement, supplemental essays, and interviews at several Texas medical schools:

“I will be a source of motivation and inspiration for my future classmates.”

Throughout your time in pre-med classes (or whatever you were doing to lead up to this juncture), you probably relished those moments when you got to talk about your kids and all the responsibilities you had ON TOP of studying. Now is the time to orient that sense of accomplishment toward the future. How will your rock-star work ethic help their school succeed? The answer: your willingness to work even harder to achieve your goals while caring for your family will motivate the other students in your med school class to be at their best. Using an example from your pre-med classes is a great way to illustrate this strength to admissions committees.

“I am mentally prepared for frustration, disappointment, and sacrifice.”

Let’s face it. Before you had children, did you really know what it meant to be exhausted? Had you used up every ounce of your energy to keep someone else happy, healthy, safe, and comfortable? Probably not. As a future physician, you will be tried and tested to your limits again and again. Starting the game with years of practice under your belt is a huge advantage and you should make sure everyone realizes this. In one of my faculty interviews, I was asked to describe how I like to work. I admitted that I prefer to work well ahead of schedule, tackling small chunks of projects to minimize my stress as the deadline approaches. The interviewer caught me off-guard by saying, “but what if you can’t do that?” I took a pregnant pause, and then answered, “I would do my best to figure out what the top priority was, and then I would get to work, realizing that I can only do what I can do – and stressing about the rest won’t help.” As a parent there have been SO. MANY. TIMES. when my mind has raced (and my pulse along with it), thinking of everything I had to get done. But when you’ve got a screaming child, you learn to prioritize. You have to prioritize. And you give up any preconceived notion of doing everything perfectly.

“I am motivated and I can do this.”

Confidence speaks volumes in any interview situation. Being self-assured yet still humble is a skill that most 22-year-olds have not yet perfected. You, on the other hand, have life experience that the majority of applicants do not, giving you a confidence that only comes with age. You’re ready to talk about your passion for medicine, your devotion to your family, and the difficult path you took to get to where you are. If you used an anecdote about parenting in one of your essays, be prepared to add more detail and humanity to your story in the interview. Challenges that you’ve overcome are popular topics among interviewers, so practice telling your story in a compelling way that emphasizes your ability to reflect and to adapt. Even in this day and age, interviewers may use the fact that you are a mother to question your ability to handle medical school. In fact, a female interviewer at UT Southwestern gave me a particularly hard time about this. Nervous as I was, I confidently countered her doubt with details about being an exhausted, working, pumping first-time mom to 6-week-old colicky baby. I felt sure I could handle anything medical school could throw at me.

Making it work: the best way to attend my Galveston interview was to have my in-laws fly down from Ohio, rent a van, and pile all 7 people (including the 5-month-old) in for the ride. Fun times!

 

If you have questions about essays or interviews, feel free to reach out in the comments! I’d love to hear about your experiences as well.

Prioritizing Maternal Mental Health

by MaryBeth

Nearly 1 in 7 women experience symptoms of postpartum depression during their reproductive years – and that number represents only the reported cases. The actual incidence is believed by some to be significantly higher. Recognizing the need to discuss this vital maternal health issue, the School of Social Work at The University of Texas at Austin and The Pregnancy and Postpartum Health Alliance of Texas (PPHA) teamed up this spring to host their inaugural Maternal Mental Health Conference (MMHC). As an incoming student at Dell Medical School, I was privileged to assist with and attend a large portion of this historic event.

Maternal Mental Health Conference ~ April 27-29, 2017 ~ #TXMMHCON

Did you know that depression is the #1 complication of childbirth? I didn’t, and I’ve given birth to three babies. Before the MMHC, I had little prior knowledge of either the clinical definition of postpartum depression or the broad spectrum of disorders that fall under its umbrella. For example, could you recognize the differences between postpartum psychosis and postpartum obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)? I captured this photo during the excellent opening keynote presentation by Lucy J. Puryear, MD.

A tragic and well-known example of postpartum psychosis is the story of Andrea Yates, who was assisted in her re-trial by Dr. Puryear. Postpartum OCD, on the other hand, is likely suffered in silence by many women who are afraid of or who don’t understand what they’re thinking and feeling. As a future medical provider to women and families, I appreciated the high level of detail that Dr. Puryear was able to share about the symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment of postpartum depression spectrum disorders.

My Personal Experience with Postpartum Mood Changes

When I was pregnant with my first baby, my doctor warned me that I might experience “baby blues” after my little one was born. Beyond that, I honestly didn’t know what to expect with regard to my mental health. The rollercoaster of emotions I felt after my son was born was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. First came the overwhelming joy of meeting the child I had grown and becoming a mother. The physiological response to new motherhood is truly transformative: I never knew I could be so happy.

But after a few days, painful challenges arose. My baby boy was born with two bottom teeth (like his Momma) and he spent the vast majority of his first 48 hours cluster feeding. By the time we got home from the hospital, my nipples were already purple and cracking. Then, at around 3 days old, he bit me – hard. I wailed in pain and sobbed as I handed my fussy bundle over to my husband and my mom. I was afraid to nurse, especially on the raw side, which took more than a week to heal. I even developed an abscess that required antibiotics.

Already exhausted from all the shushing and feeding, I sat at my kitchen table with my electric Medela pump to try and keep up my supply. In all honesty, it was humiliating. Those first three weeks were the hardest of my life. Despite my fear of the pain, I clung desperately to the nursing relationship we had started. I was not breastfed by my mom, and when I first got pregnant, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to breastfeed. And yet, here I was, terrified that I was not capable of providing for my child. Disappointed beyond measure that my poor baby was hungry and that I’d had to supplement with formula (which, in my mind, was a huge failure). I spent a lot of time in those early weeks worried and crying.

Luckily for me, things improved. A skilled and attentive lactation consultant, who I paid out-of-pocket to visit us at home, helped us get back on track and we nursed part-time until he was eight months old. This experience taught me a hard lesson about parenting: when it comes to raising your children, nothing will be perfect. A lifelong Type A perfectionist, I had to overcome my disappointment and focus on what was best for my baby. This seems like common sense, but it was actually very difficult at the time. I can imagine how easy it would have been to fall into a deeper depression, especially if I lacked family support. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my difficult initiation into motherhood played a large role in my decision to become a physician.

Knowing what I know now about the postpartum depression spectrum, I feel more qualified and motivated to help mothers and families overcome postpartum mood changes. I hope that primary care providers will take up this cause, so that all new moms have the support and resources they need to survive those critical early months of motherhood.

Helpful links:

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/postpartum-depression-facts/index.shtml

https://womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics/postpartum-psychiatric-disorders/

http://women.texaschildrens.org/program/obstetrics-and-gynecology/edinburgh-postpartum-depression-screening-tool

 

 

On weaning, cloth diapers, and other big changes

by MaryBeth

Hello again and happy weekend! I love how quiet the house is on Friday evening after everyone is in bed. Heading into Saturday morning can prolong the bedtime routine, but I appreciate the sense of excitement and anticipation of fun times ahead.

For now, at least.

In a little over one month, my weekends will no longer belong wholly to my family. For a very long time my brain will volley between learning medicine and being a wife and mom.

Because of the big changes ahead, we decided we could no longer keep up with cloth diapering, which we did to a large extent with our three kids. The diapers served us well: The same set of 20 bumGenius Freetime diapers were worn by all of my babies for a year or more each. I was a bit emotional as I passed them on to a new family this week, but simplifying in this way will help us save time for more important things.

My baby daughter also seems to be getting the message that change is coming: She is losing her patience for nursing. Save for one relaxed feeding in the early morning, she now prefers bottles and lots of solid food. At nearly 11 months old she’s very mobile and curious, and she generally needs me less (except to remove choking hazards from her mouth). She might very well be my last baby, which means I could be nearing the end of my time as a nursing momma. Sigh.

Our family is about to go through more change than we’ve ever faced all at once. I am starting medical school after a year at home, my littlest baby is about to wean, walk, and start daycare, my oldest is transitioning to a dual-language elementary school for his last year of Pre-K, and my husband is also taking classes this summer (while continuing to work). In a few months’ time we’ll be following a whole new routine and we’ll spend less time together as a family.

Whether I like it or not, I’m currently feeling sad and anxious about the huge transition that looms ahead. But it’s not all bad–I’m also feeling hopeful. I have no doubt that all of this change will bring interesting and exciting new dimensions to our lives. My goals between now and Day 1 of med school are these: be thankful for the past but don’t dwell on it, live and breathe in the present moment, and make plans that will help me kick butt in the future.

You Can’t Do that…

Have you ever been told that you couldn’t do or be something? Has anybody looked at you crazy after you told them a dream of yours that meant you would have to do what they think is impossible or unrealistic?

Well I can’t even count how many times this has happened to me. In fact, a part of me believed them that it wasn’t possible or no way it was going to happen for me. I was told by strangers and those close to me that I couldn’t do that or be that.

Most memorable of them was in High School people always said I was not going to amount to anything. I was just going to be a teenage dropout with a kid. People didn’t believe in me because I was out on my own by 16 and struggling to make things happen. I told them my dream of becoming a physician and they would tell me why not just be a nurse or something. My own mother has had a hard time supporting me. She most recently told me I should just become a Physician Assistant because now with 2 boys I need to give up my dreams of becoming a doctor because it was too much of a sacrifice. They would be teens by the time I was finished with residency.

I have had advisors do the same to me always suggesting I look at other options… But no matter how much I tried I could never come up with something that I felt I could be happy doing.

I remember breaking down in my advisors office after he suggested I look for another path. He ended up doing a prayer for me and I left. I went to the library and found the most remote corner of the library and sat there and cried until I felt better and decided that I WAS NOT GOING TO GIVE UP.

Its never been my personality to give up on something I really want. I figured I have to try. I have proved people time and again they were wrong about what I could and couldn’t do. I told myself this is no different.

I hope that if you too have been told that you couldn’t be or do something that you brush them off and use that as motivation to prove them wrong. You can be and do what ever you set your mind to.

I recite these quotes in my head every time I am feeling down or  thinking maybe they are right, maybe they will help you:

“It’s never to late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot

“Where there is a will, there is a way…”

“The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking.” – Robert Schuller

 

 

Welcome to SuperMomMD

As a mom of 2 young boys and an aspiring medical student I understand the struggle that comes with getting into medical school.

SuperMomMD is here to help inspire and help those who are nervous about applying to medical school. You could be at any point of this long and rewarding process. I hope to help and inspire you no matter where you are in the process or your personal circumstances.

Blog will contain Tips, inspiration, and advice on different subjects related to getting into medical school.

In addition, I will be posting about my personal journey of getting into medical school and juggling being a mom and wife.

I hope as a community on here we can inspire and push each other. Feel free to comment and/or ask questions.

I ask that everyone be positive and respectful of one another. Please review my post “Before you Comment” to see guidelines I hope you all will be respectful of.